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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Trending via Telegram:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Spotted on Slack:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Going viral on Discord:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Freshly posted on Discord:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Humorous quote about being so notorious your face would be on wanted posters.
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Commentary:
"If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters faster than you can say 'wanted dead or alive'! 🤠🦜 #OutlawLife"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

41 shares on Discord this month:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

16 shares on X this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

83 shares on Slack this month:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Making waves on Discord:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Just landed via X:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Trending via YouTube:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Just landed via TikTok:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Spotted on Slack:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Just shared via WeChat:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

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