Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂

2, bad, bad gift, birthday, disappointment, ever, expectations, gambling, gift, going, humor, present, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

0

5 months ago

humor, i, money, neighbor, neighbors, saved, saving, security, security system, stealing, system
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

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2 months ago

cracked, egg, friend, friendship, good, good egg, humor, loyalty, support
“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

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4 weeks ago

anger, angry, behavior, humor, internet, online, online behavior, personality, unfortunate
I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

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2 months ago

again, breakup, date, dating, disappointment, expectations, hear, humor, i, love, man, me, relationship, right, think
Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

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2 months ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, difficulty, early, easy, going, problem, problems, routine, set, sleep, sleep difficulty, sleep problem, struggle, whole
Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

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2 months ago

bacon, breakfast, caffeine, coffee, crime, crime rate, even, humor, imagination, imagine, lifestyle, rate

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

18 shares on Slack this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

How do I un-know people?

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

63 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Just landed via TikTok:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Just shared via Reddit:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Going viral on YouTube:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨