If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.