Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

3 weeks ago

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Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

5 days ago

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I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

5 days ago

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It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

2 weeks ago

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Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

1 week ago

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Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

2 weeks ago

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Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

36 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Making waves on Slack:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on TikTok:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨