13 funny gambling quotes - Wordgag

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

May 29, 2026

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

May 29, 2026

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

May 28, 2026

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

May 27, 2026

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

May 25, 2026

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

May 24, 2026

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

May 24, 2026

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

May 23, 2026

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

May 22, 2026

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

May 21, 2026

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

May 21, 2026

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

May 21, 2026

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

May 20, 2026