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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Seen just now on Threads:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Just shared via TikTok:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Witty quote about medical doubts and superhero origins, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🦸‍♂️ "If you're relying on x-rays to grant superpowers, maybe it's time to reconsider your career path! Who needs medical school when you have a superhero origin story waiting in the radiology department? 🤔💥"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

82 shares on X this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Just shared via Slack:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Making waves on Twitch:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

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