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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Going bananas on Telegram:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Just landed via Threads:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Seen just now on Threads:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

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Commentary:
"Running is my form of therapy – either fleeing my responsibilities or chasing after happiness in the form of ice cream cones! 🏃‍♂️🍦#LifeMotto"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

59 shares on Slack this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Trending via Snapchat:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Trending via Reddit:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Spotted on Telegram:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

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