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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Shared recently on Threads:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Going viral on Instagram:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Breaking via Facebook:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just landed via Facebook:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Making waves on YouTube:

The world started without permission again.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Playful text highlighting humor about running from problems or ice cream.
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Commentary:
"Running is my form of therapy – either fleeing my responsibilities or chasing after happiness in the form of ice cream cones! 🏃‍♂️🍦#LifeMotto"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

99 shares on X this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Just shared via X:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Going viral on Slack:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am half agony, half hope.

Going viral on Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Making waves on Messenger:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Going viral on Telegram:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

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