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Commentary:
"Running is my form of therapy – either fleeing my responsibilities or chasing after happiness in the form of ice cream cones! 🏃‍♂️🍦#LifeMotto"

activity, away, cream, escape, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, ice cream van, me, problems, running, treat, van

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14 shares on Slack this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

84 shares on Discord this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Breaking via WeChat:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Going bananas on X:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your opinions are not my business.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Your pronouns should be get/help.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Your pronouns should be get/help.

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