34 funny cream quotes - Wordgag

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

May 23, 2026

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

May 23, 2026

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

May 22, 2026

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

May 22, 2026

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

May 22, 2026

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

May 22, 2026

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

May 22, 2026

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

May 22, 2026

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

May 22, 2026

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

May 22, 2026

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

May 21, 2026

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

May 21, 2026

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

May 21, 2026

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

May 21, 2026

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

May 20, 2026

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

May 20, 2026

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

May 20, 2026

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

May 20, 2026

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

May 19, 2026

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

May 19, 2026

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Apr 1, 2026

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Mar 31, 2026

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Mar 31, 2026

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Mar 31, 2026

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Mar 31, 2026

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Mar 31, 2026

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Mar 30, 2026

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Mar 30, 2026

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Mar 30, 2026

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Mar 29, 2026

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Mar 28, 2026

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Mar 28, 2026

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Mar 28, 2026

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Mar 27, 2026