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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

1 hour ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Freshly posted on X:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Breaking via Messenger:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going viral on Reddit:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Live now on WeChat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Jan 21, 2025

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew family game night could get so 'heated'?! 🔥♟️ Imagine the suspense as grandma's turn approaches, and everyone is anxiously waiting for her to make her move… literally! ⏳😄 Don't worry about 'running out of time' to spend with loved ones, just flip the hourglass! 🕰️🎲"

afterlife, cremation, die, family, game, game night, hourglass, humor, legacy, night, participation, put, togetherness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

1 hour ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Just shared via Threads:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Live now on TikTok:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Live now on Threads:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Trending via Reddit:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Making waves on TikTok:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Breaking via Threads:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Just landed via Threads:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Trending via WeChat:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

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