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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Making waves on Twitch:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Going viral on Reddit:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Going viral on X:

People should come with warning labels.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

2 months ago

0

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone has truly mastered the art of procrastination! 🤹‍♂️💼 Why finish one task now when you can put off a whole bunch of them simultaneously? Talk about efficiency in delaying tactics! 😂 #ProcrastinationGoals

distraction, humor, i, management, multi-tasking, multitasking, procrastinator, put, put off, things, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

0

2 months ago

fix, fun, humor, i, joke, nothing, orgasm, pleasure, research, solution
Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

0

4 months ago

good, humor, making, only, personality, quirk, self-deprecating, skill, thing, things, weird
I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, humor, i, just, notice, noticed, post, thank, wanted, week, weeks
Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

0

2 months ago

always, clue, demographic, drawing, good, manga, series, woman, women
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

0

2 months ago

doing, ever, humor, irony, just, last, lesson, life, life lesson, lol, mistakes, nice, opposite, parenting, problem, solve, think, time, try, universe, work
Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

0

2 months ago

communication, confusion, direct, direct signals, good, humor, i, luck, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationships, sarcasm, signals, time, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

19 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I hate about group work: The group.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Spotted on Instagram:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Trending via Telegram:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Making waves on Instagram:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Freshly posted on X:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

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