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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting Iโ€™m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Donโ€™t cry because itโ€™s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Twitch:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Going viral on Slack:

Took a good look at my finances. I wonโ€™t make that mistake again.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Trending via Telegram:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Spotted on Slack:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Spotted on Threads:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Iโ€™m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Witty quote about self-awareness and delusion with a playful regional pun.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Oh, that's meta on a whole new level! ๐Ÿคฏ Delaware would be delighted to know it's symbolizing self-aware delusion now. Welcome to the state of mind of Delawareception! ๐Ÿคช #DelawareDelusion

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I donโ€™t have to take this abuse from you; Iโ€™ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Itโ€™s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

46 shares on Reddit this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Iโ€™m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I didnโ€™t ghost you, I saved you from me.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have no beef with vegetarians.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

With my staggering 91% survival rate, youโ€™d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

If you drink a lot of water, you wonโ€™t have time for other peopleโ€™s drama because youโ€™ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

I donโ€™t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Spotted on YouTube:

The pizza delivery guys say โ€œsee you tomorrowโ€ to everyone, right?

Trending via WeChat:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Spotted on WeChat:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Spotted on Slack:

Iโ€™ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Trending via Snapchat:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, Iโ€™d be in terrific shape.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Trending via Facebook:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

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