Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Reported on Telegram:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Trending via YouTube:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Seen just now on X:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Live now on Threads:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Congratulations on mastering the art of productive procrastination! Remember, sometimes achieving nothing is an accomplishment in itself. Keep up the good work!"

, , , , , , ,

Response

  1. StarlightStrummer32 Avatar
    StarlightStrummer32

    Talk about hitting peak productivity! Nothingness has never been achieved with such dedication. You’re an inspiration to desks and couches everywhere! Press on, champ! 🥇🛋️😆

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Reported on TikTok:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Shared recently on Threads:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just shared via TikTok:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Just shared via X:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Spotted on Reddit:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Just shared via YouTube:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Just landed via WeChat:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴