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Commentary:
"Ah, the art of being quietly furious! Like a volcano sipping on a smoothie 🌋🥤. It's all about that zen-like fume control 😌💥. Dangerously calm, yet on the brink of eruption! 🔥😄"

attitude, chill, expression, full, humor, irony, nonchalant, rage

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, banana, confusion, humor, i, idea, nutrition, sun, sure, vitamin
When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

0

2 months ago

bad, before, good, hear, humor, interesting, IT, never, never seen, oh, report, seen, something, technology, troubleshooting
That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, dating, done, every, humor, humor quote, relationship, sarcasm, saving, time
“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

0

2 months ago

date, dating, drainage, expectations, humor, optimism, optimistic, pool, relationships
Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

0

5 months ago

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

0

2 months ago

bit, family, humor, i, ignore, kids, me, parenting, say, something, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Threads this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Just landed via X:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Making waves on Slack:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Fries, not lies.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨