Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Just call me a dedicated professional – waiting patiently for the inspiration bus to arrive 🚌💡 Or maybe I'll just take a nap and hope it shows up in my dream instead! 😴✨"

creativity, humor, inspiration, lazy, me, motivation, procrastination, time, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

0

2 months ago

dollar, every, humor, i, love, start, thinking, thought, time
I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

0

2 months ago

calendar, celebration, Christmas, construct, everyone, holiday, humor, i, merry, refusal, refuse, social, social construct
I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

0

2 months ago

getting, humor, i, life, motivation, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, stress, together
My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

0

2 months ago

body, brain, conflict, exciting, fool, humor, inner, inner conflict, listen, motivation, procrastination, something, today
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

0

2 months ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work
When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, communication, excuse, humor, husband, just, let, marriage, me, procrastination, relationship, using, whatever, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

35 shares on X this month:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Trending via Twitch:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Making waves on Twitch:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Breaking via Slack:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨