Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just shared via Messenger:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Spotted on Slack:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Just landed via Reddit:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Who needs sleep masks when you can sleep like a pro with your eyes wide shut? This person must have a PhD in snoozing!"

closed, eye, good, humor, rest, skill, sleeping, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

2 months ago

cold, comedy, dramatics, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, illness, man, man cold, sarcasm, story, tell, world
Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

2 months ago

cost, expenses, funeral, humor, just, life, living, longer, mortality, people, seen, wonder
They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

2 months ago

apple, avoidance, away, day, doctor, eat, eating, everyone, food, health, humor, i, interaction, joke, keep, keeps, need, say, social, social interaction
They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

2 months ago

anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected
I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

2 months ago

adult, brave, doctor, doctors, give, hello, humor, i, kid, kids, know, only, recognition, reward, sticker, today
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

3 months ago

bright, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, light, people, perception, sound, speak, wit

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

90 shares on X this month:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

35 shares on Discord this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Freshly posted on X:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Breaking via Reddit:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Live now on Threads:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Just landed via Discord:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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