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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

47 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Reported on Messenger:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Just shared via TikTok:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Reported on WhatsApp:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Just landed via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Making waves on Facebook:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

4 months ago

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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Commentary:
"Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."

celebration, eve, holiday, humor, joke, midnight, new, new year, past, resolution, staying, staying up, time, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

47 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Spotted on YouTube:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Breaking via YouTube:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Trending via Threads:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

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