Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.
  • When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”
  • They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.
  • I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.
  • If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.
  • Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.