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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Just shared via Instagram:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just shared via Twitch:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Just shared via Twitch:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Going viral on WeChat:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

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I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Once upon a time, in the distant land of Wi-Fily Ever After, there lived a magical printer that actually did what it was supposed to do – print without any fuss or drama! 🧚‍♂️🖨️ No paper jams, no ink smudges, just pure printing perfection! The villagers rejoiced, for they knew their fairytale endings were just a click away… #PrinterGoals 📜✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WeChat this month:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Freshly posted on X:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Spotted on Slack:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Breaking via Reddit:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Trending via Snapchat:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

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