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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Just landed via Discord:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Trending via Threads:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Just landed via YouTube:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Trending via Reddit:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Trending via Twitch:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

0
Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: World peace achieved through the power of a perfectly timed selfie 🤳🌍 Who knew a fierce expression and a catchy caption could solve everything? If only the leaders of the world had known this secret sooner! #PeaceLoveAndSelfies 😂✌️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

45 shares on Threads this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

85 shares on X this month:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? I have Spotify.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,650

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Going viral on Threads:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Breaking via Facebook:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Seen just now on YouTube:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

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