Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,785

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Just landed via Slack:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Spreading quickly via X:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Going viral on Discord:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Just shared via Messenger:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

0
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the boss is taking the phrase "silence is golden" a bit too seriously! 🤫 Who knew increasing morale could involve reducing communication? 🤔 Maybe they're trying out a new approach to team building – the power of awkward silence! 🙊 Just remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, the office grow quieter! 🤣

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Salt is just angry sugar.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so productive for your wage.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Going viral on Reddit:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Making waves on Twitch:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Making waves on WeChat:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Breaking via YouTube:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Just landed via Discord:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴