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Commentary:
"When it comes to emergencies, it's always better to be over-prepared, right? I guess this person believes in the power of preventive medicine – why wait for an emergency when you can have a doctor on speed dial?"

application, comedy, doctor, emergency, humor, irony, notify

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, help, husband, i, missing, relationship, snack, wife
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

0

2 months ago

activity, amazing, big, eating, fast, fast food, fat, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, i, indulgence, love, overweight, self-deprecating
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

0

2 months ago

am, break, everywhere, existential, humor, i, irony, myself, need, self-reflection, ugh
My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

0

5 months ago

challenge, disagree, disagreement, friend, friends, hit, humor, me, said, therapist, try
You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

0

2 months ago

corner, hip-height, humor, hurt, injury, me, sarcasm, table, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

89 shares on X this month:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

27 shares on Threads this month:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

12 shares on X this month:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

50 shares on Discord this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Trending via Pinterest:

Cool times create cool guys.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Trending via Twitch:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Telegram:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨