11 funny emergency quotes - Wordgag

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

May 29, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

May 29, 2026

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

May 28, 2026

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

May 27, 2026

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

May 25, 2026

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

May 24, 2026

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

May 24, 2026

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

May 23, 2026

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

May 21, 2026

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

May 21, 2026

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

May 21, 2026