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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Going viral on Reddit:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Just landed via TikTok:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Trending via X:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Just shared via Twitch:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Making waves on Facebook:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

1 month ago

Playful quote about preferring to un-meet familiar people over new ones, humorous and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I've reached expert level in the art of 'reverse networking' – un-meeting people faster than Tinder swipes. 🔄🙅‍♂️ Who needs new friends when you can just avoid old ones with ninja-like precision? 😎💔 #SocializingLevelZero"

anxiety, humor, i, introvert, know, meeting, much, new, people, relationships, social, social anxiety, un-meet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Making waves on Reddit:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Just shared via Slack:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Seen just now on Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

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