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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Spotted on Telegram:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Freshly posted on X:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Just shared via Threads:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

2 months ago

0

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

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Commentary:
"Who needs wild nights out or teenage rebellions when you can mess up your life the old-fashioned way – with pure determination and stubbornness! 🌟💪 Here's to proving that you don't need to follow the traditional paths to achieve epic levels of chaos. Keep breaking the molds, my friend! 🎉😂"

drug, gambling, life, motivation, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor
I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adults, annoying, expectations, generation, humor, i, irony, just, music, never, nobody, wanted, younger, younger generation
Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

0

2 months ago

before, childhood, drawing, family, fridge, furious, going, humor, internet, meant, nostalgia, sibling, viral
Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

0

2 months ago

alone, attitude, candle, candle in the wind, humor, independence, just, leave, life, living, man, me, personal, personal space, space, wind
There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

0

2 months ago

burn, cozy, evidence, fire, funny moment, humor, moment, nothing, open, open fire, relaxation, sitting, watching
Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

0

2 months ago

90s, activity, arcade, fix, fun, fun activity, gaming, kombat, me, mortal, Mortal Kombat, nostalgia, playing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

55 shares on X this month:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Just shared via Threads:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Going bananas on X:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Just shared via Slack:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Just shared via TikTok:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

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