Trendy Funny Quotes

  • According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.
  • Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.
  • Livin’ la vida vodka!
  • Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.
  • I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.
  • Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.