“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

46 shares on Facebook this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

98 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

26 shares on Messenger this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

61 shares on Threads this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.