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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Going viral on X:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Making waves on Slack:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Spotted on Threads:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Making waves on Pinterest:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Trending via TikTok:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

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It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the modern struggle of our social media age – chasing after the elusive 'like' while drowning in a sea of 'views'! 🌊😂 It's like searching for a needle in a haystack, except the haystack is made of cat videos and influencer posts! 🐱📸 #FirstWorldProblems"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my bed more than I like most people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on Threads:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Just landed via Telegram:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Making waves on Facebook:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just shared via Slack:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

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