Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Enjoying that sweet, sweet tranquility of minding your own business like a pro 🕶️✌️ Who needs drama when you've got your own little bubble of peace and quiet? 🤫 #MindYourOwnBeeswax"

business, detachment, interest, peaceful, people, personal, personal space, social, space, tranquility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

0

3 weeks ago

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, comedy, folly, genuine, human, human folly, humor, i, intelligence, next, prediction, satire, stupidity, technology, war, world
The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

0

4 months ago

absence, comfort, comfortable, habit, loneliness, longer, people, relationship, something, too
I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, complete, game, hope, i, life, needs, save, skills, teen, teens, video, video game, waste, world
You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, dust, existential, humor, i, irony, joke, know, life, philosophy, return, someone, why
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, best, communication, dating, dating app, good, humor, media, meeting, place, social, social media, soulmate, tweet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

90 shares on Discord this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

53 shares on X this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Making waves on Threads:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Going viral on WeChat:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Seen just now on Slack:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨