It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.