Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the nerve of people to be out there peopling while you're trying to avoid them! 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️ Next time, bring along a 'No Peopling Zone' sign 😆 #IntrovertProblems"

annoyance, around, audacity, crowd, i, peopling, rude, social, somewhere, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

0

2 months ago

actually, desire, employment, humor, i, job, laziness, need, sarcasm, where, work
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, closed, closure, humor, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

0

2 months ago

curve, dieting, distance, fitness, flatten, flatten curve, food, humor, i, need, pandemic, refrigerator, social, social distance
If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, glasses, humor, i, self-image, sexy, time, vision
Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

0

2 months ago

bored, danger, dangerous, excitement, fun, humor, mischief, warned, warning
I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

0

2 months ago

comedy, favorite, humor, i, joke, me, suck, vampire, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Discord this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

76 shares on Discord this month:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

11 shares on X this month:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Breaking via Threads:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Going viral on Twitch:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Just shared via Telegram:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Trending via Snapchat:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Making waves on YouTube:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨