Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.