Trendy Funny Quotes

  • “Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.
  • Later is the best time to do anything.
  • If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?
  • I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.