Trendy Funny Quotes

  • You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.
  • “Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.
  • Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.
  • I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.
  • Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.