Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.