Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs eternal life when you've got fat cells in the mix? 🤣🍔 Embracing the circle of life, one snack at a time! 💁‍♂️ #FatCellsForever"

brain, fat, hair, life, skin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

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2 months ago

bullshitting, comparison, crew, enterprise, humor, sci-fi, Spock, star, Star Trek, time, trek, Vulcan
I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

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2 months ago

activity, apathy, avoidance, humor, i, interaction, laziness, procrastination, social, social interaction
The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

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2 months ago

band, band name, Cranberry, creativity, fruit, great, humor, joke, music, name, work
Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

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2 months ago

call, dream, humor, meeting, people, self, staring, talking, thing, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, Zoom
Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

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2 months ago

chicken, dinner, eat, egg, family, food, humor, i, joke, wanted, whole
Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

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2 months ago

buy, Catch-22, delivery, frustration, humor, i, irony, online, online shopping, paid, pay, payment, post, seller, shopping, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

61 shares on Discord this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

67 shares on Discord this month:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Trending via Messenger:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Going viral on TikTok:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Making waves on WeChat:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Breaking via Twitch:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨