Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.
  • If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.
  • Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.
  • Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.
  • I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
  • I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.