Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like your dog is really leading the way in setting high standards for welcome home parties! 🐶🏆 Maybe take some notes from your fluffy life coach and step up your greeting game! 😄👏"

bar, dog, expectations, greet, home, humor, i, impossible, should, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

0

2 months ago

humor, i, need, Olympics, order, Paris, question, seen, sports, Tokyo, understand
Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

0

2 months ago

confusion, dynamics, expectations, humor, irony, me, obsession, reaction, relationship, self-awareness, WTF
If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

0

2 months ago

blink, call, cosmic, earthling, humor, i, relationship, romance, science, star, twinkle, wink
High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

0

3 months ago

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why
Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

0

2 months ago

date, guy, humor, jealousy, me, movie, movie star, Pete Davidson, relationship, star, want, whining, women
Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

0

2 months ago

back, children, days, factory, factory settings, family, grandma, humor, parenting, reset, settings, stay, visit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

33 shares on X this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

54 shares on YouTube this month:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

13 shares on WeChat this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Making waves on Messenger:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Trending via Telegram:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Trending via Slack:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Trending via WeChat:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Live now on Reddit:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Going viral on Telegram:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨