Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.
  • “You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.
  • Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.
  • My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.
  • Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.
  • Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.