Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.
  • My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.
  • Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.
  • Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?
  • Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.
  • If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.