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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Just landed via Threads:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Just landed via Facebook:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Trending via Messenger:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Just landed via Messenger:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Live now on Twitch:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Going viral on YouTube:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about aging gracefully, featuring playful text on a humorous sock-themed message.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, it seems your husband has officially graduated to the "fun socks" phase of adulthood, where the waistbands get higher and the sock patterns get wilder! 🧦🕺 Who needs mid-life crises when you can just rock some quirky socks instead? 😄 #SockGameStrong

fashion, fun, fun sock, humor, husband, marriage, relationship, sock, socks, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

63 shares on X this month:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

18 shares on Threads this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Trending via Telegram:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Trending via YouTube:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

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