My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.