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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Trending via YouTube:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Going viral on Instagram:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Going viral on YouTube:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Going viral on Slack:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Live now on Instagram:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

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Commentary:
"Oh, the eternal struggle of toeing the fine line between sarcasm and sincerity – a true conundrum! 🤔😂 It's like a never-ending game of 'Is it sarcasm or is it real life?' 🙃 Embrace the ambiguity and just keep 'em guessing! 😉 #MasterOfSarcasm"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Facebook this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

18 shares on X this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

55 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

17 shares on Threads this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Trending via Slack:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Going viral on TikTok:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Spotted on Snapchat:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

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