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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Going viral on Threads:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Spotted on Reddit:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

2 weeks ago

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47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Just shared via Slack:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Going viral on Threads:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Making waves on Instagram:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Seen just now on Facebook:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨