Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Going viral on Threads:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Just landed via Messenger:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Just landed via Discord:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Spotted on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Just shared via Threads:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Trending via Discord:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about sweatpants jokingly urging a return to office work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Ah, the classic "intervention" moment by the sweatpants! Looks like it's time to retire from the cozy lounge life and dive back into the world of office attire. Good luck explaining the office dress code to your comfy companions! 🩴👔 #SweatpantsVsOfficeJob

again, casual, casual wear, humor, job, me, office, office job, procrastination, sweatpants, want, wear, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

81 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

46 shares on Threads this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve got a shituation here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Spotted on Reddit:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Spotted on Slack:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Shared recently on Facebook:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Breaking via Reddit:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Just shared via Facebook:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

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