Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Making waves on Slack:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Shared recently on Discord:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they've found the perfect motivation to speed up dinner – a frozen treat waiting at the finish line! Who knew popsicles could be the ultimate dinner incentive? Just remember, brain freeze is a small price to pay for dessert efficiency!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

68 shares on Discord this month:

How is it still this week?

73 shares on X this month:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

52 shares on Twitch this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

462 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,731

Funny Quotes Topics

17,753

Funny Quotes Images

15,731

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Trending via Twitch:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Spotted on WeChat:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via Threads:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Seen just now on Threads:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Just landed via Messenger:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

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