Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Going viral on Discord:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Trending via WeChat:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Just landed via Twitch:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Spotted on YouTube:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Seen just now on X:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Breaking via Discord:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

0
My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they've found the perfect motivation to speed up dinner – a frozen treat waiting at the finish line! Who knew popsicles could be the ultimate dinner incentive? Just remember, brain freeze is a small price to pay for dessert efficiency!

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Telegram this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

About to form my very first opinion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

245 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,514

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,514

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Spotted on Threads:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Live now on Facebook:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Making waves on Facebook:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴