My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

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The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.