Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, at least she found the perfect match in you! 🤣👫 It's all about balance, right? Maybe opposites attract – for better or for worse! 😉

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

2 months ago

anyone, doctor, drinking, ever, gynecologist, humor, pepper, puns, wordplay
My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

3 months ago

company, diversity, hire, humor, never, twins, workplace
My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

1 week ago

attack, every, humor, inconvenience, me, personal, personal attack, self-awareness, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, universe
Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

5 months ago

adult, custody, divorce, family, Funny, having, humor, mom, parent, parents, sibling, siblings, today
My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

2 months ago

accomplishment, comedy, culture, done, family, fan, here, humor, monty, Monty Python, parenting, pop, pop culture, python, son, work
90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

3 months ago

90, again, exhaustion, family, humor, just, lie, lie down, parenthood, parenting, parenting struggle, rest, struggle, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a day off from myself.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

19 shares on X this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Just landed via X:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just shared via YouTube:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Going viral on TikTok:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Going viral on TikTok:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Going bananas on Threads:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨