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Commentary:
Well, at least she found the perfect match in you! 🤣👫 It's all about balance, right? Maybe opposites attract – for better or for worse! 😉

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

2 months ago

fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift wrapping, holiday, humor, motor, objects, paper, season, skills, T-Rex, wrap, wrapping
I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

6 months ago

band, Band of Brothers, brothers, depression, humor, i, male, male depression, nostalgia, rewatch, stage, television
When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

2 months ago

disappointment, expectation, future, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, much, never, reality, sarcasm, suck
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

2 months ago

alien, alien invasion, apocalypse, before, climate, crisis, die, disaster, end, end of world, extraterrestrial, global, global climate crisis, humor, invasion, irony, little, nuclear, nuclear war, sci-fi, survival, treat, war, world
I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

3 months ago

boyfriend, broke, day, hayek, heart, humor, i, jealousy, love, relationship, salma, Salma Hayek, think, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

2 months ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

55 shares on Threads this month:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

60 shares on Slack this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Just landed via Reddit:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Spotted on Discord:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Breaking via Facebook:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Trending via Messenger:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Making waves on Slack:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨