Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Making waves on Twitch:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Just shared via Reddit:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Making waves on TikTok:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Breaking via Twitch:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Making waves on Instagram:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Going viral on Threads:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Funny quote about the hassle of shaving and blow-drying, with a playful, relatable vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle is real! Shaving for smooth legs only to have the blow-drying marathon begin. It's a race against time to a smoother tomorrow 🏃‍♀️💨✨ #LegDayDilemma"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

10 shares on Slack this month:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

15 shares on Threads this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

20 shares on Discord this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

99 shares on X this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

21 shares on X this month:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am cassette tape years old.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Spotted on Reddit:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Trending via Reddit:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Live now on Telegram:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Seen just now on Discord:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

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