Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.
  • Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
  • I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
  • Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.
  • Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.