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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Spotted on Telegram:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Breaking via Reddit:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about stress and teeth grinding with a playful, witty tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely, no stress at all! Just casually transforming into a human nutcracker for the sheer thrill of it! 😬💪 Who needs a jawbreaker when you can grind your teeth for free, am I right? Keep up the dental workout, it's all smiles here! 😂🦷 #GnashingAndRelaxing

anxiety, clench, fun, grind, humor, i, jaw, just, sarcasm, stress, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Spotted on Telegram:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Live now on Telegram:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Spotted on TikTok:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Just shared via WeChat:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Trending via Facebook:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Trending via Threads:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Going viral on WeChat:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Seen just now on Reddit:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

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