Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Trending via LinkedIn:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Breaking via Facebook:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely, no stress at all! Just casually transforming into a human nutcracker for the sheer thrill of it! 😬💪 Who needs a jawbreaker when you can grind your teeth for free, am I right? Keep up the dental workout, it's all smiles here! 😂🦷 #GnashingAndRelaxing

anxiety, clench, fun, grind, humor, i, jaw, just, sarcasm, stress, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

61 shares on Slack this month:

God saw you do that.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

37 shares on X this month:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

64 shares on Discord this month:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

15 shares on Threads this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Seen just now on Threads:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Breaking via Twitch:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Spotted on Reddit:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Going viral on Threads:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Spotted on YouTube:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Spotted on WeChat:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

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