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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Just shared via Facebook:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Live now on TikTok:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Playing referee in a couple's fight is like trying to breakdance in a minefield – you're bound to step on some explosive emotions 💥🕺 Better to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show from a safe distance! 🍿😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just shared via Twitch:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Trending via Telegram:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

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