Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like America finally realized it needs to work on self-love before jumping back into a relationship with a president 🇺🇸💔 Who needs political drama when you can focus on improving yourself, right? #SingleAndThriving"

America, focus, humor, needs, next, president, relationship, self-care, single, term

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

3 months ago

apples, being, charge, humor, imagine, irony, knowledge, snake, still, temptation, trust, wisdom
I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

2 months ago

bored, boredom, contrast, cycle, excitement, humor, i, love, overwhelmed, routine
Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

2 months ago

alcohol, away, coping, drinking, escape, fun, humor, moving, problems, relaxation, run, want
I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

2 months ago

20, awkward, discomfort, good, humor, joke, looking, minutes, observation, reading, room, social
If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

2 months ago

babe, back, breakup, comeback, dating, dead, energy, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, me, relationship, sarcasm, stay
The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

4 weeks ago

clothing, comparison, costume, fashion, Halloween, Halloween costume, humor, literally, quality, retail, retail store, shopping, store, stores, today, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WeChat this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

26 shares on Slack this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

67 shares on Slack this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Just landed via Facebook:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Broadcasted on X:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Breaking via TikTok:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Breaking via Pinterest:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Going viral on TikTok:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Just shared via Threads:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨