Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”