Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Breaking via Threads:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Making waves on Reddit:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Making waves on Instagram:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Trending via Pinterest:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Notifications: Because even your phone knows you need constant validation."

awarenes, digital, digital life, exist, humor, life, notification, reminder, sarcasm, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

0

3 weeks ago

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

0

2 months ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

0

2 months ago

forever, humor, love, nothing, proposal, relationship, wit
Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

0

2 months ago

avoid, detachment, freedom, happiness, introvert, nothing, people, social, solitude, want
Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

0

2 months ago

communication, end, every, good, good way, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, wit
Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

0

4 months ago

change, chaos, couch, here, home, humor, i, mix, new, over, relaxation, sit, sitting, sitting spot, spot, things, thought, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

100 shares on YouTube this month:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

53 shares on Slack this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Spotted on Instagram:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spotted on TikTok:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨