Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Trending via Threads:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Spotted on Messenger:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Making waves on Slack:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Going viral on Facebook:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Going bananas on Discord:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Notifications: Because even your phone knows you need constant validation."

awarenes, digital, digital life, exist, humor, life, notification, reminder, sarcasm, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

0

5 months ago

chill, even, full, ID, moon, werewolf
He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

0

3 months ago

heart, humor, just, light, lights, love, metaphor, right, romantic
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

0

5 months ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want
Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

0

2 months ago

apps, choice, convicted, convicted felon, dating, dating life, felon, guy, having, humor, life, old, old guy, perfect, relationships
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

0

2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, irony, joke, murder, only, success
Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

0

2 months ago

fragrance, humor, irony, old, Old Spice, scent, smell, something, sound, spice

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Discord this month:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Being awake is the worst.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

100 shares on Threads this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Live now on Instagram:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Going bananas on YouTube:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨