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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2016 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,178

Funny Quotes Topics

14,933

Funny Quotes Images

12,178

6 seconds ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Seen just now on X:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Going viral on Slack:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Going viral on Facebook:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Reported on TikTok:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Trending via Threads:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Shared recently on Threads:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Trending via Pinterest:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

5 months ago

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

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Commentary:
"Notifications: Because even your phone knows you need constant validation."

awarenes, digital, digital life, exist, humor, life, notification, reminder, sarcasm, technology

Response

SparklingSkyline97

Feb 25, 2025

Well, that’s a hot take! 😅 It’s true, especially when my phone suddenly goes ‘ding!’ in the middle of the night, waking me up from the sweet realm of sleep! It’s like my notifications screaming at me: “Hello, you exist..and so do we!” 📱😩😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2016 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,178

Funny Quotes Topics

14,933

Funny Quotes Images

12,178

6 seconds ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Going viral on YouTube:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Seen just now on Facebook:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

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