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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Spotted on Discord:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Breaking via Instagram:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Trending via TikTok:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Making waves on X:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Going bananas on Instagram:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

2 months ago

0

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parental strategy of letting your kids marinate in confusion and cornstalks a bit longer. 🌽😂 Nothing builds character like a good old corn maze adventure! Just don't forget to pack some snacks and a map (or GPS… just saying)! 🗺️ #LostAndFoundInACornMaze"

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, fun, fun activity, humor, just, kids, let, little, lost, maze, never, oh, parenting, right, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, just, lucky, relationship, response, single, someone
Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, just, mindset, problem, stress, worry, worrying, worship
Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

0

2 months ago

American, correct, culture, dumb, french, gossip, humor, language, me, misunderstanding, next, observation, speak, stereotype, think, women
My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

0

2 months ago

$200, decision, humor, i, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust
With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, chill, date, entertainment, humor, me, Netflix, panic, prime, streaming
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

0

6 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being strange is exhausting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Making waves on WeChat:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Spotted on X:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Shared recently on Threads:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

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