Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Trending via Discord:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Shared recently on Slack:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Going viral on YouTube:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Going viral on X:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about parents letting kids stay lost in a corn maze a bit longer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parental strategy of letting your kids marinate in confusion and cornstalks a bit longer. 🌽😂 Nothing builds character like a good old corn maze adventure! Just don't forget to pack some snacks and a map (or GPS… just saying)! 🗺️ #LostAndFoundInACornMaze"

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, fun, fun activity, humor, just, kids, let, little, lost, maze, never, oh, parenting, right, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

37 shares on X this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Just shared via Slack:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Trending via Messenger:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Trending via Snapchat:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

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