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Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

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I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

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I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

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I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

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“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

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If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

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People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

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Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

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I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

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I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?