Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
  • I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.
  • If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.
  • I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’
  • Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.
  • That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.