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Commentary:
"Wow, a gold medal at the Olympics, huh? That's impressive! Meanwhile, my watch is over here throwing a party just because I managed to stand up without tripping over my own feet 🥇🕺 Keep reaching for those Olympic dreams, watch out for your watch though!⌚😄"

achievement, congratulation, humor, just, me, medal, oh, Olympics, sarcasm, standing, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope my email finds you enraged.

1 month ago
anger, communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, sarcasm
Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

1 month ago
72h, always, belief, believe, bus, care, deodorant, fragrance, humor, manufacturers, me, next, people, personal, personal care, satire, sit, stop, writing
Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

1 month ago
aging, doing, doing nothing, enjoyment, getting, great, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, nothing, older, relaxation, simplicity
It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

5 months ago
attraction, attractive, attractive person, awkward, awkward moment, crush, dating, fear, humor, moment, OMG, person, scary
You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

2 months ago
bad, compliment, encouragement, ever, humor, interaction, irony, know, met, people, person, resilience, social, social interaction, start, strength, telling
If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

1 month ago
comment, communication, fact, humor, irony, paradox, say

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

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If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

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There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

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The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

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Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Just landed via Slack:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Going viral on WeChat:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Trending via Telegram:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Just shared via Threads:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

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Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

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They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

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Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

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